• No name calling

• No "You"ing or "should"ing.

• Tell the truth.

• No interrupting.

• Agree to solve the problem.

• Keep it confidential.

• Get the problem out.

STEPS

• First person tells what the problem is.
• First person tells feelings.
• "I feel ...when... because ..."
• "I need ..."
• Second person listens, restates facts, restates feelings .
• Second person tells feelings.
• "I feel...when...because..."
• "I need..."

• First person listens, restates facts, restates feelings.
• Generate options. Make a list; anything goes.
• First person says what he or she can do to solve problem.
• Second person says he or she can do to solve problem.
• Evaluate options. Will this work?
• Each person tells how options will work for them.
• Decide on and write down agreement.
• Tell what to do if the agreement doesn't work.
• Each person signs agreement.
  

CONGRATULATIONS